It’s always a surreal experience when I go to a new doctor. It never ceases to amuse me when he/she looks at me really funny when I discuss my medical history. He/she always asks me if I’m on the pill, I tell him/her that I have an IUD, he/she tells me that I’m a bit young to have an IUD, I tell him/her that I can’t take hormonal birth control, he/she asks why, and then things usually get really awkward.
At the end of 2006, I was hospitalized with a case of pulmonary embolism. Pulmonary embolism essentially involves blood clots in the lungs. I had no idea what was going on when I was diagnosed. The days before I was hospitalized, I was having a bit of trouble breathing, and I was having pain in my shoulder. The day I was hospitalized, I couldn’t breathe. Every breath I took made me feel like I was dying. I couldn’t inhale, and I couldn’t exhale without feeling like I was dying. It was a pretty scary time.
What I didn’t know before I was hospitalized was that one in four people diagnosed with pulmonary embolism end up dying. Sixteen percent of people who have pulmonary embolism usually end up dying before any sort of treatment can be done. When I was hospitalized, the doctors heaped on the pain medication on top of the anticoagulants because they assumed that I wasn’t going to survive the weekend. The doctors just wanted to make it as painless as possible in case the worst was going to happen.
I was on blood thinners for six months after I was hospitalized. The doctors assumed that the hormones in birth control had something to do with why I was hospitalized (after all, one of the risks of taking birth control is blood clots). After that incident, I was no longer allowed to use a hormonal birth control.
I had to get my blood regularly tested while on blood thinners to make sure that my blood was in the expected levels. I was lucky that the health center on campus had the ability to test my blood once or twice a week. When I was in Albuquerque, I had to go to the coumadin clinic there. People always thought I was in the wrong place because I was way too young to have to deal with blood clots. I was usually the only person under the age of sixty sitting around waiting to get my blood tested.
When I went to the doctor last week, it was surreal to hear from her that I could have died from pulmonary embolism. Doctors tell me this all the time when I tell them that I was hospitalized for it, but it never ceases to throw me off when I realize that I genuinely could have died. I know they don’t mean it offensively, but I think they’re usually genuinely surprised to see someone my age who has already had pulmonary embolism who survived to tell the tale. People are generally apologetic, but I’m rather ambivalent to it these days. It happened. I lived. Not much more needs to be said about it.
Still, though? It never ceases to disorient me when people tell me that I had a genuine chance of dying. Generally not something you think about when going through your day to day life, huh?
Tags: Personal
I’m gonna give you one helluva a hug when I see you next. Just to truly appreciate that you’re around.
That is all.
That would make me one happy loli.
Can’t wait to see you at NDK! <3