2013 is Coming to a Close…

December 6th, 2013

Although this year has been a crazy roller coaster beyond my wildest imagination, I can definitely say that this year has turned out all right. I also believe, without a shadow of a doubt, that next year will keep on getting better.

If anything, 2013 has been a year of transition for me. New home, new job, new relationship (well, new as of the end of 2012, haha), new opportunities, new friends. Hell, even throw a new cat into that mix. 2014 will be a good time to start fostering more improvements in life, and I’m looking forward to it.

Everything has become pretty straightforward in my life, which is actually kind of nice. I actually have an adult sleeping schedule (with the help of the right sleeping pills, of course, but they definitely have helped me conquer years of insomnia). Right now I’m working two jobs, one I really can’t talk too much about and another that pays me more than I’ve ever been paid in my entire life for ten hours a week. I’ve been focusing on being a better person and not letting the past influence my life. I never realized how bad things have affected me since I was young, and with the help of my amazingly patient boyfriend, I’m starting to finally undo years of damage I didn’t think I would ever be able to let go of.

Of course, this year wasn’t without its hurdles. Things had to get bad before they got better. I had to let go of so much toxicity before I was able to start healing. I had to endure a lot of hardship in order to fully appreciate all the little things in my life. I had to fall apart one more time before I could put things back together the right way. I had to confront my fears head-on to realize that they weren’t as bad as I thought they were.

This year was humbling; nevertheless, I think it was exactly what I needed in order to move forward.

Reboot? I think so.

July 1st, 2013

…wow. I haven’t posted in here in forever, huh? I guess I can say that life has changed significantly since the last time I posted on here. I really miss writing blog posts. If anything, I spend all my time working, playing video games, reading, and just generally being an adult. I need to get myself back in the swing of things. So here I am, getting ready to start posting new things, writing new things, and making new adventures into the unknown. I wonder if anyone still reads this? Who knows. Who cares. Time to turn things up!

Here’s hoping for progress! šŸ˜€

Interesting Thought.

October 20th, 2012

You’re the kind of trouble a man thinks he wants to get into, but once he realizes what kind of trouble you are, he usually starts running in the opposite direction. Ā It takes an equally twisted kind of guy to see that ride all the way through to the end. –My friend, Malice

…that’s…huh. Thanks. ;-;

Busy, Busy, Busy. Always Busy.

October 2nd, 2012

Goodness. I’ve wanted to post more, but I’ve been so busy with work and life.

There was a fighting game tournament in town recently, which was fun. I’m sure it would have been a lot more fun if I wasn’t as hung over as I was. The tournament made me realize that I need more practice. Have I been practicing since then? Not particularly, since I’ve been obsessively playing Borderlands 2. I really want to get back in to the swing of things, but it would help if I had more time.

I’ve been putting in late hours at works. I’ve had a lot of things to do there. I really do enjoy being a Technical Writer, especially for something I’m fascinated by like computer security. It’s hard to find time to do things when I have a full-time job, but it pays off. Literally.

There’s a lot of stuff planned for Atomic Mesa. I have some articles that I need to review, I need to actually post the article I wrote a while back, and my roommates and I are planning to do some Survival Horror streams in the spirit of the month of Halloween. I need to revamp the design of the website, too. Where in the world am I supposed to get all this time?

I should be posting something about my impressions of Borderlands 2 tonight. If I can get the time. ._.

Here’s to me getting back in to the swing of things.

Nan Desu Kan 2012 Recap [Part 1]

September 18th, 2012

This past weekend, I went with my roommates (Dani and Tyler) as well as Dani’s friends (Emily and Desiree) on a road trip up to Denver, Colorado for Nan Desu Kan (NDK) 2012, an anime convention. My roommates had long-standing plans to go to NDK and invited me for the ride. I was looking forward to going to a convention with them, not to mention I would be able to visit my Colorado friends (primarily Ryyu, but it would be nice to see all the other Colorado people I’ve met through him, too). It had been a while since I went on a road trip, not to mention an out of state anime convention.

For all the people that know me well, they know that a few things generally happen when I go to conventions these days:

  1. I bring more than just my camera phone and still forget to take pictures.
  2. I rarely make it to panels.
  3. I barely get sleep.
  4. I spend all my time socializing with friends and meeting new people.
  5. I party like a fucking rock star.

…yeah, this time was no different.

I really should have brought my arcade stick up with me to Colorado (even though Estevan is still borrowing my only dual-modded stuck) because I literally spent the most time hanging out in the gaming room, playing fighting games. …and no one was surprised, not even me. I really didn’t want to spend a lot of money, so I didn’t spend a lot of time looking through the Artist’s Alley or the Dealer’s Room. Ā I did pick up Crows Zero (a Takashi Miike film; Miike is one of my favorite directors) on Blu-Ray, though, which I’m excited to watch. Maybe I’ll make a post about it on Atomic Mesa when I do watch it?

Anyways…

When I go to conventions, I like to party with my friends. It’s one of the few times where people will be in one centralized location where we all generally don’t have to drive. That means we can go out, drink, and get blitzed without anyone having to worry about sobering up to go places. I get to catch up with people, I get to hang out with people, and I get to meet new people. And we get to make delicious drinks! Or go out and get delicious drinks! I’d say partying is the primary reason I don’t take a whole lot of photos when I go to cons. I just… forget that I can? Probably.

I was really happy that I got to see my friend Jamaal (Ryyudo; he’s the one in the picture above). He had a serious face before I took this picture, but he started laughing after I started harassing him. I met him on Phantasy Star Universe (PSU) way back in the day, and we’ve been friends since. We’ve been to conventions together, and my friends went with his friends to a cabin for New Year’s this year. I haven’t seen him since we went to EVO in July. It was awesome that I was able to see him up at NDK!

(I apologize in advance for my convoluted storytelling abilities–I’m still burned out from the trip. Watch as I jump all over the place trying to recap my weekend.)

Our plan was to leave for Colorado after everyone got out of work, sometime around eight in the evening. I got out of work a little early since I hadn’t packed any of my things. I had to run by my parents’ house to pick up some cosplay costumes and a suitcase before having my dad drop me off at home (he was going to take my car to the shop while I was out of town for some maintenance). I literally spent all my time before the trip emptying out some bags and dumping all my stuff into my bags. If you can’t tell, I don’t really plan ahead for these kinds of things. We loaded up the car with everyone’s stuff and set out for Colorado in the middle of the night. Tyler drove, I sat in the front with him, and Emily, Dani, and Desiree sat in the back.

The car trip was nice since Tyler and I spent the whole time talking about all kinds of things. I stayed up with him so he wouldn’t get drowsy. Not like I was feeling sleepy, anyways. We got to Denver in the really, really early morning. We unpacked our bags and went to bed–we needed the sleep. The con was being held at one hotel, and we stayed at another hotel a little ways away.

Woke up Friday morning, took a shower, and went to check out the con. The turnout was way better than the anime conventions in New Mexico. I didn’t preorder my badge, so I ended up paying a bit of an inflated rate to get in, but the line wasn’t that bad to get my badge. After some running around, I ended up meeting up with Ryyu in the Artist’s Alley (where the picture above was taken). I was so happy to see him!

I ended up spending my day hanging out in the gaming room. They had a bunch of consoles set up, and there were all kinds of fighting games going on. This was where I was infinitely regretful that Tyler and I both didn’t bring a stick up with us. Ryyu and his friends were awesome to let us borrow their sticks for some matches, but it would have been nice to have ours with us. I also spent some time with Ryyu and Robert (one of Ryyu’s friends) as they set up their costumes for the con.

Ryyu and Robert as the Blue Barracudas!

YES! YES! YES! YES!

They had the perfect costumes. Not even joking. They ran around the con getting people to chant, “YES! YES! YES!” wherever they went. It was a blast. A blast from the past, no less!

Afterwards, we went out to buy alcohol. We left the liquor store with two handles of whipped cream vodka and a fifth of honey whiskey. While that sounds like a lot, we were only contributing a bit to the pile of liquor that was already stocked for the occasion. Between when we parked the car and when we got back to the room that belonged to all Ryyu’s friends, Ryyu, Robert, and I ended up drinking somewhere along the lines of… oh… half the bottle of the honey whiskey.

Let’s just say that instead of food for dinner, I had whiskey for dinner.

The night ended with me going on drunken tirades, getting lost and meeting friendly people in the hotel area, and somehow avoiding a hangover in the morning.

Yikers. I sure am getting tired. I think I’ll post more about NDK tomorrow. I still have a lot more story to tell!

Continued Adventures in Persona 4 Arena.

September 9th, 2012

Wow, has it been that long since I last updated? Time sure manages to fly.

Since my last update, I have been in a serious love/hate relationship with Persona 4 Arena (P4A). Some days I feel really good about the progress that I’m making in the game. Other days, I feel like I just want to quit playing the game entirely. For the longest time, I couldn’t find just one character that I was comfortable with (if you couldn’t tell from all the posts that I’ve made regarding the game). I’d do really well with one character one day, and then the next I would feel like I didn’t have a single clue as to what I was doing with said character. I was satisfied then frustrated then satisfied again. Even though the mechanics were getting more and more cemented in my head, I still felt as if I wasn’t getting what I was looking for from the game. By this point, I decided that I needed to either decide on a character or just accept that I wasn’t going to improve in the game. Trying to remember the mechanics for three characters all at the same time while you’re learning a game is definitely not an effective way of learning the game. Especially when you’re already confusing things as they are with just one character.

Much to my surprise, I ended up settling on Elizabeth as a character. I was going to stick with Yukiko, but a lot of her combos seemed too fast for me to hold on to. Her moves made a lot of sense to me, and I loved the flexibility that I have with her setting up traps and keeping a ranged game… but I feel that her mechanics are just too complicated for me right now when I have a tournament around the corner. I may pick her up later on in the game, but right now I need to focus on someone who I feel solid with. That character happens to be Elizabeth.

I’m a little nervous, of course. Out of all the characters in the game, Elizabeth has the least amount of health. She also has a lot of mechanics that require a significant setup… and, in turn, also require a significant amount of risk. As most of my fighting game friends know, I tend to get in people’s faces a lot in fighting games, and my blocking leaves something more to be desired. I’m taking a pretty heavy gamble here playing as Elizabeth, but she’s the only character who I genuinely say that I feel the most comfortable with as of this very moment.

Her combos actually feel like they make sense to me. Rehearsing and rehashing her combos doesn’t feel like a chore–I actually feel like I’m learning something. The timing doesn’t feel sloppy to me. Her aerial combos are actually interesting, fun, and possible for me to do. While, as I said before, I can see myself probably picking up someone else as a strong secondary to make up for what I’m lacking right now, but I think I’m going to be sticking with Elizabeth through the tournament that’s coming up.

This is still scary. Don’t get me wrong. Out of all the characters I play online, Elizabeth has the lowest win percentage. I’m feeling that this is going to change, though, since the last two matches I played as Elizabeth in, I ended up winning. I usually don’t win matches with her. And, from what I can tell, people at this initial level are actually rather intimidated by my Elizabeth. And this is all after two or three days of seriously training with her.

I think if I keep up my game with her, that I am going to be something that might actually be worth fearing in this game. Sure, it takes me a little while to get the grasp of things in the game (after all, the only fighting game that I’ve ever really taken seriously in a long time has been BlazBlue), but I think I’m learning faster than I’m giving myself credit for.

I think the thing that has benefited me the most is that I’ve finally settled down on one character. When I was flip-flopping between three characters, I never found myself actually learning combos with the characters that I was playing as. I was really good at getting pokes in on my opponents, but when I’d get something going, I would never have the ability to string something together to punish the pokes I was able to get in. I could do this with all three of my characters, but after that? I was pretty much SOL.

Sure, the combo training is helping. It’s helping quite a bit, as a matter of fact. I don’t think it would have helped nearly as much if I didn’t just stop messing around with so many characters, though. There’s so much depth to Elizabeth’s play style, and I don’t think I would have been able to grasp any of this if I didn’t start taking playing as one character more seriously. I might actually have a decent chance if I keep on grinding this game out before the tournament.

Of course, I can already see Ryyu pounding my face in, but I think I’ll actually be able to hold my own if I keep up what I’m doing thus far. šŸ˜›

Adventures in WordPress

August 27th, 2012

Looks like I haven’t updated my blog in a little while.

There’s not all that much to report, really. I’ve been distracted from Persona 4 Arena (P4A) by a multitude of things such as Sleeping Dogs, Final Fantasy Theatrhythm, and In the Groove (ITG). I’m planning on running some combo practice today, and it’s possible that my roommate and I will be doing a P4A stream later tonight.

Anyways…

I decided to spruce up this blog a little bit more. Well, until I actually have the time to sit down and mess around with the settings. I changed the theme of the blog, and I took my introductory post and made it into a separate page. Woo! Look at that, progress!

I guess you can say I’m testing all these nifty features so that I can use the skills I get from here to further renovate the official project, Atomic Mesa. I don’t mind beating my own personal blog black and blue until I get things the way that I want them to be, but I want Atomic Mesa to look good once the official iteration gets rolling.

I have yet to look through more themes for this blog, but I think this one will do for now!

Further Adventures Into Persona 4 Arena Training Online

August 20th, 2012

Lesson #1: Playing Persona 4 Arena (P4A) while drinking makes me less stressed out during matches, but I seem to get really reckless in what I can do. Not to mention any sense of performing combos seems to go right out the window. I still won a couple matches, but man, I ended up losing a lot of matches, too.

My win/loss ratio in P4A is nothing to marvel at, especially since most of my matches have been played while under the influence of alcohol… or have been played by my friends when they’ve just been hanging out while we’ve all been drinking. Most of my best matches have been on Tyler’s PSN account. My win/loss ratio with Teddie on there is better than on my own personal account. I’ve also noticed that I can play better as Teddie on his account, but I do a lot better with Yukiko on my own personal account.

I’m really starting to like playing as Yukiko. Even though I was so bad at it with Lambda-11 in BlazBlue, I seem to do a really good job of it with Yukiko. I love setting up traps, I love tricking the opponent into falling for my traps, and I love endlessly harassing my opponents with Yukiko’s fans. It’s almost, in a way, worse than me trolling online as Teddie. Teddie’s unblockable is annoying for sure, but few things annoy people as much as me not letting the opponent get close to me because I’m endlessly pelting them with Yukiko’s fans from every direction humanly possible.

I also actively started using my anti-air attacks with my characters, which has also effectively improved my game just a little bit. It seems like a lot of scrubby players were catching a lot of people off guard just by air dashing in instead of just mashing A. Now I seem to be doing a lot better against people who just mash A and people who just air dash in then mash A. At least this is somewhat comforting.

I ended up doing a lot of research on the mechanics of the game on Friday before getting some training in. This was probably one of the most beneficial things that I’ve done since getting the game. Since I understand a lot more of the mechanics of the game, I have a better idea of how to play against other characters. It is still a lot to think about, and I do still freeze up when I’m trying to process a bunch of pieces of information as rapidly as I need to, but I’m feeling good that I can take the knowledge that I’ve obtained so far to apply to my game. I just need to take the time to feel it out before it becomes second nature.

I’ve been a little distracted since I recently picked up Sleeping Dogs, but I can’t let my training falter any time soon. Gotta keep reading, gotta start practicing the combos I researched, and I gotta keep playing other people to get a better feel of what I can get away with. I should probably start watching more match videos and streams, while I’m at it…

On Death and Dying

August 20th, 2012

It’s always a surreal experience when I go to a new doctor. It never ceases to amuse me when he/she looks at me really funny when I discuss my medical history. He/she always asks me if I’m on the pill, I tell him/her that I have an IUD, he/she tells me that I’m a bit young to have an IUD, I tell him/her that I can’t take hormonal birth control, he/she asks why, and then things usually get really awkward.

At the end of 2006, I was hospitalized with a case of pulmonaryĀ embolism. Pulmonary embolism essentially involves blood clots in the lungs. I had no idea what was going on when I was diagnosed. The days before I was hospitalized, I was having a bit of trouble breathing, and I was having pain in my shoulder. The day I was hospitalized, I couldn’t breathe. Every breath I took made me feel like I was dying. I couldn’t inhale, and I couldn’t exhale without feeling like I was dying. It was a pretty scary time.

What I didn’t know before I was hospitalized was that one in four people diagnosed with pulmonary embolism end up dying. Sixteen percent of people who have pulmonary embolism usually end up dying before any sort of treatment can be done. When I was hospitalized, the doctors heaped on the pain medication on top of the anticoagulants because they assumed that I wasn’t going to survive the weekend. The doctors just wanted to make it as painless as possible in case the worst was going to happen.

I was on blood thinners for six months after I was hospitalized. The doctors assumed that the hormones in birth control had something to do with why I was hospitalized (after all, one of the risks of taking birth control is blood clots). After that incident, I was no longer allowed to use a hormonal birth control.

I had to get my blood regularly tested while on blood thinners to make sure that my blood was in the expected levels. I was lucky that the health center on campus had the ability to test my blood once or twice a week. When I was in Albuquerque, I had to go to the coumadin clinic there. People always thought I was in the wrong place because I was way too young to have to deal with blood clots. I was usually the only person under the age of sixty sitting around waiting to get my blood tested.

When I went to the doctor last week, it was surreal to hear from her that I could have died from pulmonary embolism. Doctors tell me this all the time when I tell them that I was hospitalized for it, but it never ceases to throw me off when I realize that I genuinely could have died. I know they don’t mean it offensively, but I think they’re usually genuinely surprised to see someone my age who has already had pulmonary embolism who survived to tell the tale. People are generally apologetic, but I’m rather ambivalent to it these days. It happened. I lived. Not much more needs to be said about it.

Still, though? It never ceases to disorient me when people tell me that I had a genuine chance of dying. Generally not something you think about when going through your day to day life, huh?

Another Day of P4A Training

August 16th, 2012

I have been greatly amused by the fact that playing Persona 4 Arena (P4A) is helping me get better at BlazBlue but not vice versa. I ended up playing Tyler and Shota at P4A last night, and while I feel I have a few more things down in the game, I just don’t think anything has improved when it comes to how I’m playing. I essentially forgot a lot of the basic setups that I learned (which I had to relearn while I was playing matches). And, while playing Tyler and Shota, The only thing I noticed that I improved on while playing against my friends was that my zoning with both Yukiko and Elizabeth had gotten a little better. I still only have a general idea of how both Yukiko and Elizabeth play, so I still wasn’t able to follow up any attacks that I managed to land. Oh well. I’ll probably poke at BlazBlue a little more before heading straight back into P4A training. I know I’ve invested so much time and effort into BlazBlue that the mechanics are just so natural to me, but I really should cut back so that I can focus on getting better at this new game. I know that the newest iteration of BlazBlue will probably come out next year, but that’s a long ways away to keep nursing at a game that is, for the most part, dead.

How sad. Especially since I was finally starting to get kinda decent at the game, too.

One thing I noticed while playing a couple of matches online in BlazBlue is that I am incredibly bad of utilizing anti-air attacks. I know that they’re there, and I know which attacks I can end up using if I need to defend against getting rushed down from the air. Nevertheless, my reflexes keep having me hit other buttons, which usually ends up with me getting my ass handed to me on a platter. I think I just need to break this habit. If I see an opponent trying to air dash at me to get in my defenses (especially since I play as zoning characters), I need to make it a reflex to hit with an anti-air (or block, good grief).

I still have yet to start looking into combos for the characters that I’ve been playing as the most (Teddie, Yukiko, Elizabeth). I’m not sure why I haven’t done this yet. Even if I don’t learn the most complicated of combos, I really just need to capitalize on the attacks that I do manage to pull off. In BlazBlue, it always felt so rewarding to have different options to capitalize off of when I’d get in one random hit. My friend Ryyudo mentioned to me, when I played a gauntlet of matches with him, that I was really good at getting in surprise hits, but I just never seemed to follow through after I’d get them. If I were able to capitalize off of the random hits I could get in with pretty much anything, I would increase my damage output and probably win more matches. Sure, this is a very obvious conclusion to draw, but I think thisĀ hindranceĀ is definitely contributing to me losing a lot of my matches. I pretty much get so close in beating my opponent, but if I make just a little extra push, I think I could wreck more people consistently.

Tyler is definitely getting better at the game, though. He is doing a lot of the things that I haven’t been doing, such as consistently following up on whatever hit he happens to get in. He’s got his main and his very likely sub chosen, while I’m still at an impasse with three characters. Some days I feel better playing as Teddie. Other days I’m better with Yukiko. And I’m not able to put in enough effort to get better with one character. I’m feeling spread pretty thin, relying on primarily gimmicks and crossed fingers to get me through my matches.

Tyler and I have been training against Shota for the explicit fact that Shota’s pretty decent at using Mitsuru. Shota has played as charge characters in Street Fighter, not to mention he’s pretty good at fighters in general. And, well, Mitsuru is just scary. She’s fast, she hits hard, she has insane reach, and all of that is even without using her Persona. Shota was pretty much pounding both me and Tyler into a pulp without even really having a grasp of the game and most of the moves. He’s good enough at fighters to know when to attack, how to block, and how to capitalize on opponent mistakes.

It was brutal.

Nevertheless, I think it was good that Tyler and I played him as much as we did. Even though all Mitsurus won’t play the same, at least we’ll both have a better idea of how to avoid different types of attacks from her when we see them coming. That, and we can practice our own defenses without killing our percentages online.

The moral of this story is that I need more practice… oh, and that I need to start doing that research that I claim that I’m always going to do. ._.